apples for poppy anne

 

 

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Raspberry Cheesecake Brownies

4 ounces chopped bittersweet or semisweet chocolate (I used milk chocolate chips)

2 ounces chopped unsweetened chocolate

1/2 cup butter

4 eggs

2 teaspoons vanilla

1/2 teaspoon salt

3/4 cup flour

1 8 ounce package softened cream cheese

2/3 cup sugar

2 teaspoons lemon juice

2 tablespoons flour

1 1/2 cups fresh raspberries

1 tablespoon sugar

1.  Preheat oven to 350C.  Grease and flour a 13x9x2 baking pan.

2.  Brownie layer: In medium saucepan heat and stir both chocolates with butter over low heat until smooth.  Remove from heat; let cool.  Whisk in the 1 1/4 cups sugar and 3 of the eggs.  Whisk in 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla and the salt.  Stir in the 3/4 cup flour just until combined.  Spread batter evenly in prepared pan.  Set aside.

3.  Cheesecake Layer: In medium mixing bowl beat cream cheese and the 2/3 cup sugar with electric mixer until combined.  Beat in lemon juice, the remaining 1 egg, and the remaining 1/2 teaspoon vanilla just until combined.  Beat in the 2 tablespoons flour.  Spread mixture over brownie layer.  Top with raspberries; sprinkle with 1 tablespoon of sugar.

4.  Bake for 35 to 40 minutes or until top is puffed and golden and the edges start to brown.  Cool in pan on a wire rack.  Chill covered, for at least 6 hours. 

5.  Cut into bars.  Serve cold or at room temperature.

 

Last night Poppy was laying between us looking as though she just stepped out of an 80's workout video with her pink onesie and pink socks up to her chubby little knees.  We watched her smile and listened to every "word" she gurgled.  Mike suddenly looked at me with sad eyes and said something that I haven't been able to shake.  It was about how temporary this stage is. This little girl that we know today won't be here tomorrow; everyday she is more than she was yesterday.  She is stronger and brighter with every sunrise.  Just this morning she, after weeks of sucking on her fist, finally found her thumb; a feverish sense of accomplishment seemed to wash over her, and I nearly cried. Partially because she didn't need me in that moment to comfort her as I have every other morning, but mainly because it was another milestone for her.  Everyday she is taking steps towards her independence, as tiny as they may be in the grand scheme of life.

Of course this is what we want as healthy parents, but it has made me think about the duality of parenthood.  How it demands that we be both a rock of comfort and security, and the fluid of forgiveness and growth.  I suppose this is true for any human relationship, the difference being that this may be the most heartwrenching and rewarding; all in the same breath.

I am learning that all we can do is watch and remain present in these fleeting, bittersweet moments and hope that we do something right.

 

 

e.