Raspberry Cheesecake Brownies
4 ounces chopped bittersweet or semisweet chocolate (I used milk chocolate chips)
2 ounces chopped unsweetened chocolate
1/2 cup butter
4 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup flour
1 8 ounce package softened cream cheese
2/3 cup sugar
2 teaspoons lemon juice
2 tablespoons flour
1 1/2 cups fresh raspberries
1 tablespoon sugar
1. Preheat oven to 350C. Grease and flour a 13x9x2 baking pan.
2. Brownie layer: In medium saucepan heat and stir both chocolates with butter over low heat until smooth. Remove from heat; let cool. Whisk in the 1 1/4 cups sugar and 3 of the eggs. Whisk in 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla and the salt. Stir in the 3/4 cup flour just until combined. Spread batter evenly in prepared pan. Set aside.
3. Cheesecake Layer: In medium mixing bowl beat cream cheese and the 2/3 cup sugar with electric mixer until combined. Beat in lemon juice, the remaining 1 egg, and the remaining 1/2 teaspoon vanilla just until combined. Beat in the 2 tablespoons flour. Spread mixture over brownie layer. Top with raspberries; sprinkle with 1 tablespoon of sugar.
4. Bake for 35 to 40 minutes or until top is puffed and golden and the edges start to brown. Cool in pan on a wire rack. Chill covered, for at least 6 hours.
5. Cut into bars. Serve cold or at room temperature.
Last night Poppy was laying between us looking as though she just stepped out of an 80's workout video with her pink onesie and pink socks up to her chubby little knees. We watched her smile and listened to every "word" she gurgled. Mike suddenly looked at me with sad eyes and said something that I haven't been able to shake. It was about how temporary this stage is. This little girl that we know today won't be here tomorrow; everyday she is more than she was yesterday. She is stronger and brighter with every sunrise. Just this morning she, after weeks of sucking on her fist, finally found her thumb; a feverish sense of accomplishment seemed to wash over her, and I nearly cried. Partially because she didn't need me in that moment to comfort her as I have every other morning, but mainly because it was another milestone for her. Everyday she is taking steps towards her independence, as tiny as they may be in the grand scheme of life.
Of course this is what we want as healthy parents, but it has made me think about the duality of parenthood. How it demands that we be both a rock of comfort and security, and the fluid of forgiveness and growth. I suppose this is true for any human relationship, the difference being that this may be the most heartwrenching and rewarding; all in the same breath.
I am learning that all we can do is watch and remain present in these fleeting, bittersweet moments and hope that we do something right.
e.
Those eyes. They're deep.
I want those baked things, like right now! Mmmmm!!!
I love how you write about the duality of parenthood. So many paradoxes and dichotomies in that and life. So interesting, wonderful and heartwrenching and I love it when people respect and revel in parenting for the amazing and challenging endeavor that it is. Seems like so many people are just sanquine about it and think they have healthy kids if they feed and clothe them alone. Poppy has parents who nurture her soul and cry at her small triumphs. It's so beautiful to me.
Thanks for writing about it, and thanks for this space. I feel warm and cozy when I come here.
Posted by: Annette | 04/28/2009 at 09:12 PM
You captured parenthood with your words, thoughts, and emotions wonderfully . . . my oh my, little Poppy is definitely an old soul . . and reminds me of her Mommy! xoxo
Posted by: Gramma | 04/29/2009 at 06:33 AM
I can relate as my almost 13 year old is away this week at camp. Letting them gain independence is hard though as it seems he was just on the floor playing with trains.
Posted by: Denise | 04/29/2009 at 07:17 AM
Your post brought tears to my eyes. So often I've thought the same things, pondered them, wrote about them, cried about them... happy and sad. It's almost impossible to put into words and you did it beautifully. You're so right... every moment is fleeting and they are different every day. All you can do is love, cherish and live every one of those moments and welcome the new ones. It's so nice to have blogs to help you remember those moments once they've past... I can't tell you how often I go back and read Cooper's early blogs and am thankful I have them to serve as a reminder of all those tiny but huge triumphs and milestones that may otherwise have faded from my memory along the way. As hard as it is to believe, it only gets better and better :)
Posted by: Jen | 04/29/2009 at 12:18 PM
Erin you are a wonderful & interesting writer & I love your pictures! Poppy is so beautiful! I wish you the best in what you are doing! Did you make that cheesecake? Sure looks good!
Posted by: sylvia | 04/29/2009 at 02:47 PM
gah! your words. and now your words as a mother. xo
and hello darling indeed. i HAVE to make those brownies. pronto.
Posted by: Melissa | 04/29/2009 at 08:25 PM
I am making those brownies ASAP. Thanks for the wonderful recipe! I am totally loving your blog-- I've recently just started sewing again and am trying to get in touch with those things that modern life typically detours around -- maybe I'll try canning! Can't wait to see what you're up to next. Loving it! Coz Katy (Loynes)
Posted by: Katy Teson | 04/30/2009 at 12:50 AM
Glad your enjoying the blog Sylvia!
Great way to stay connected!
xo
Posted by: apples for poppy anne | 05/01/2009 at 12:00 PM
Thanks for stopping by Katy!
Love to see you here!
I love your sewing projects by the way.
:)
Posted by: apples for poppy anne | 05/01/2009 at 12:01 PM
Erin, I am reading through your old blogposts and I wanted to show you this one that resonates exactly with that sad feeling of saying goodbye to the little things in your child's life. I just posted this a few days ago. I hope you don't mind...
http://gennysent.blogspot.com/2009/05/hard-at-play-unexpected-goodbyes.html
Posted by: genny | 05/08/2009 at 11:16 AM